Content

No one can define these spiders in my mind

So quietly they creep, on my dreams they reap

My clarity once divine, now taken by time

Its webbing, clingy twine, 

Are the cobwebs of my mind

Made from spiders twisted bind

Infesting before I knew, as a child I withdrew

My innocence unwind

I began to hear it creak, in my mind I hear them speak

Their voice a warning sign

When older I had gotten, I hoped their voice forgotten

Their resolve was unkind

Their venom fangs enraging, my thoughts become encaging

My pleas for peace declined

As spiny beasts surround me, my fury grows—I can’t flee

My will starts to unwind

Like clockwork my life erodes, then so too my physique goes

My makers flawed design

Fragmented—my mind is dearth, my dreams I cannot unearth

My passions left behind

I effort to fight my binds, while my body lay supine

My fears clouding my mind

I desire muscles strong, the spirit to dare go on

But spiders bid me “die”

To placate their desire, I let them wrap their wire

The ending of my time

From the spiders that I dread, they dangle me from a thread

And then they cut the line

My fall is torture received, my landing lay me bereaved

Nothing remains to find

No one can define these spiders in my mind

The darkness from which they seep, on my life I will weep

My pain is there design

Its webbing, clingy twine, 

Are the cobwebs of my mind

Made from spiders twisted bind

Fifth Draft 6/13/2020

(This is an Ekphrasitc Poem, but since I don't own the right to the image it is based on, I can't include it at this time.  For reference, the original image was of a stone angel.)

O winged child, what do you see?

Is it grand rays of light? Is it stars in the night?

Do you see your reflection in the moon?

I wonder what you wonder, where your mind wanders.

Does your mind wrinkle like your feathers in the wind?

The wind can carry you wherever you think.

Your dreams fluttering on the midnight breeze.

Would you fly to where you wonder, or walk to where you wander?

Maybe you rather sit and think on that cold stone seat.

Does sitting suit you; does it help your flowing gown keep?

Is it silky and warm in the morning sun?

You seem so content, your wings kept neat.

Your feathers so fair like the locks of your hair.

They are golden as the sky you seek as you sit on that cold stone seat. 

Your mind the wanderer, while your body keeps.

And as days grow old, and stone grows cold,

Still you sit and think; your body sleeps.

Maybe someday, when your body wakes

And your heart sheds its stony skin;

Maybe then you can join with those things that you dream,

And wander where they wander

In peace.

Draft as of 4/19/20

(In its current form, this is a non-traditional Sonnet)

Each night my mind won’t stay,
My body dares not sleep.
My dreams have been a fray,
The nightmares make me weep.

You were right beside me.
Your loss consumes me whole.
Now miles it divides we;
A fear stresses my soul.

I can’t dare be near you.
Madness! It is unfair,
To see your body adhere to
Machines that make your air. 

Now it never feels right
To be without you at night.

Draft as of 4/21/20

(This was just nonsense for fun)

Pain, pain,

Go away.

Come again

Another day.

I want to walk.

I want to run.

I want to talk,

Beneath the sun.

My aching back;

My muscles plight;

The pain attacks

All day and night.

Maybe Ibuprofen

Will help I’m hopin’. 

Draft as of 4/21/20